Why didn't anyone ever tell me that adolescence begins at the age of 3?
Adi is sure a character, but man, I COMPLETELY disagree with the "Terrible 2's" theory and restate it as the "Terrible 3's" theory, or maybe the "Trialing 3's". She's still a great girl, but lately she has had more attitude, sass, curiosity, and spunk than I knew that little sweet body of hers could handle! She really is a joy, and half of the attitude is funnier than anything. But for journaling purposes, I thought I would share a few of those "spunky" moments for laughs.
The other night, Adi said she didn't love me. I'm not sure what sparked it, but best as I can tell, she's just experimenting with emotions, and words etc. She reassured me that she still liked me, but that she just loved Daddy and Emersyn, and maybe she would love me later. I told her that was fine, but that I would always love her.
Later she said that sometimes she loved me, and sometimes she liked me, and that sometimes she hated me. I told her that it was never a good idea to hate anyone, and that when she didn't love me, my heart was breaking, but that I would still always love her.
Later that night as we sat at the dinner table she leaned over and told me that she did in fact love me.
She said "You are wonderful, you are the most wonderful thing in my heart."
It melted me to say the least, and I held her close and said "that was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me."
Then she told me she thought I was the most beautiful girl she ever saw.
It was a tender rollercoaster of an evening. I was feeling pretty bad that she felt that way, even if she didn't understand what she was saying. But as a mother, to devote yourself wholeheartedly in every aspect of your life to your beloved children, you can't help but ache a bit when they start to test those waters. However, it was a sweet ending to the evening, and her love has surrounded me again.
The next day Caleb felt like he would still like to talk to her about it a bit, and I was grateful for his love for me and his support in the efforts to teach our children to love and respect their parents. I was downstairs and Adi came down to lay by me and give me some loves, and she looked at me and said "mom, I never ever hate you, I always, always love you." Afterwards when she was walking up the stairs you could hear this...
"Dad, I did it. Can I have a treat now?!" hahaha!
Even if she said it for a treat, I was grateful for his support and the encouragement he used in teaching our children to love and respect their Mother.
I've been thinking though, how do you guys deal with your children when they act/say these type of things? Do you teach them it's not kind to act that way, and we need to love everyone, or do you let them express their feelings and just assure them that no matter what you will always love them? I don't think there is a right or wrong answer, but sometimes as fellow parents, it's good to encourage each other and give insightful feedback to one another.
I just never knew....!
15 comments:
Oh, NO!! That's so embarassing! But what a story to tell forever!
I agree with you whole-heartedly on the "trying three's." My two year olds are little angels, so when Quincy turned three, I was shocked to see his attitude and defiance come out.
I think you handled the situation perfectly! I think kids really do just experiment with words and phrases. Quincy likes to tell me that he's NOT my mommy! Then I just explain to him what he meant to say, and basically laugh at him, but not in a bad way. We laugh off a lot of the rude things he says, and sometimes, I ignore him completely when he's talking rude. I think the things that get the most attention are the things that they come back to a lot. So, I guess what I'm saying is ignore the bad, and praise the good!
I have to say that I am sitting here laughing. Nobody told me that 3's were horrible either until my first child hit three. THEN they tell me it is the 'tyrannic' threes. So true. I am living with two three year olds right now. Gotta love it, so independent, back talking cute little things. I have to say, you made my day!
I'm dying! that's so funny! Ok, if it were me I would've died from embarrassment but it was you, so I can luagh. heehee
I agree with you, I've always felt that the 3's are more difficult!
You little story after was so sweet. It'd break my heart too.
That is to funny! I could totally see Jace doing exactly the same thing! I know what you mean about 3 being worse than 2, because we've certainly noticed that with Jace & he isn't even quite 3 yet! Can't wait till their teenagers :)
I think you handled it fine! Who says moms always have to have the answers. If it hurts your feelings I think you can say that. It gives the kids a good example of how to express themselves appropriatley. It was a fun weekend, and I think the fire drill was a definite highlight!
THAT'S SO FREAKIN FUNNY. Sorry but I tell you that is seriously funny! I'm sure not at the moment, but remember its moments like this that ALLOW us as parents FULL right to embarrass our children as teenagers! hahahaha...in an evil chuckle!
As for the emotions. I believe that our kids see so much on TV or when we go to stores they are constantly watching...but the best thing we can do is correct and reassure and let them see and explain when something is sad that might hurt. You did great. As usual. She is a crack up thou. Just remember teenage years are yours for sure!
What? That innocent little smile? No way!
That is seriously sooooo funny, but I would have DIED if it was my child! Oh the thought!!
I think you handled the expression of words perfectly. You are such a good mom!!
I had to laugh just a little when you told of the fire alarm. I have been in that situation. I was in charge of a PTA fund raiser while living in Duchesne many long years ago. It was held at the elementary school. Many families had come to have their family photos taken. Just as I was getting ready to close up shop, the alarm went off. Come to find out, it was one of my children that had set it off. Luckily Tim was a county deputy at the time, and he responded to the call. It saved me a lot of humiliation!! :)
Oh dear! Fire Alarms are curious things. I'm lucky as far as my kids saying they love me all the time. Even when I've gotten upset with them, they still tell me they love me, even when I have to get mad. In fact, lately, both Nadia and Forrest out of the blue have been telling me that. I love it. There is nothing as wonderful as hearing there sweet voices saying, "I love you, mom." I'm sure Adi wasn't sure quite what she was saying, but it's sad all the same.
That fire alarm story is hilarious - since I'm not the one that had to live it! (I guess I should never say never, though, I still have little kids . . . )
And kids do say the darndest things, but I think you guys were awesome in how you handled it. Maybe it's good she tested that water while she was so little and still moldable and teachable, if you know what I mean!
And, yes, three is definately more difficult than two. :)
Oh my heck I would die if my kid pulled a fire alarm. How funny. I think you handled the love/hate thing just fine. I've never liked the word hate but I think my kids are entitled to not like me or be unhappy with me at times even though it hurts.
That is to funny. But i think i would die if it was one of my kids.
What happened with the fire alarm? Did the police come? Was Adi arrested? :)
You think threes are bad, try the fives and sixes. I don't handle it the best, but I do try to hold them and apologize if need-be, and talk to them. They relax then, and we can get back to better moods.
Hilarious!!
And what a sweet, sweet story!
Oh. My. Word. :)
All I know is that I'm going to start coming to you on how to handle situations like this. You did much MUCH better than I. Mine involved tears. And not a graceful little tear down the cheek, but a total breakdown. Yes my child saw this! And I blame it on the pregnancy hormones. But I learned my lesson, and it is never a good thing to make your child feel guilty. I still feel terrible. You're such a good mom!!!
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